Why do we always have the urge to press the 'close door' button in the elevator, even though it never actually works?

I hate when people ask me if I've lost weight. Like, do I look fat all the time or what?

I find it funny how we all pretend to know what we're doing at work when really we're just winging it.

Has anyone else noticed that the best conversations happen in the kitchen at parties? Maybe it's the snacks talking.

I think we can all agree that 'please hold' really means 'I'm gonna put you on mute and Google the answer'.

Isn't it weird how we trust restaurants to cook our food perfectly but still feel the need to check if they got our order right?

Why do we feel the need to double-check if we locked the door, even though we just did it 5 seconds ago? Paranoid much?

Do you ever wonder why we apologize when someone else bumps into us? Like, sorry for standing in my spot.

Isn't it funny how the weather forecast is the only job where you can be wrong most of the time and still keep your job?

I love how we justify buying things we don't need by saying it's on sale. Like, I just saved money by spending it.

Why do we always look at the clock at the exact same time every day, like it's gonna change?

Isn't it weird how we use our phones to avoid awkward situations, but end up in even worse ones by being on our phones?

Why do we insist on starting a new diet on Mondays? Like, as if the pizza we ate on Sunday doesn't count.

Why do we say we're going down a road even if it's uphill?

Why do we call it a building if it's more than one story?

Why do we say we're going to tighten our belts when we're just spending less money?

Why do we call it a chill in the air when it's actually cold?

Why do we say we see eye to eye when there's only one eye in the phrase?

Why do we say we're head over heels in love when our heads are always over our heels?

Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?