Why did the belt get a promotion at work? It held up pants so well!

Why did the skeleton burp at the dinner table? He didn't have the guts to fart!

Why did the artist go to jail? He got caught red-handed!

Why don't trees compete in beauty contests? They'd always be stumped!

Why did the scarecrow win the award? He was outstanding in his cornfield!

What did one chair say to the other chair? 'It's nice to have you for support!'

Why did the pony get in trouble at school? He was a little horse!

Why did the golfer bring an umbrella? In case of a hole-in-one!

What did the egg yell during the race? Omelette you win!

Why did the tomato refuse to jump off the table? It didn't want to ketchup!

Why did the baseball player bring string to the game? Because he wanted to tie the score!

What did the soap say to the sponge? You're the cleanest thing in my life!

Why did the pencil go to the dance? To get the graphite moving!

What do you call a belt that's always tired? A waist of energy!

Why did the apple go to school? To become a smart-apple!

Why was the broom late? It swept through the time zones!

What do you call a tissue that plays music? A tissue box!

When do you know it's time to go to the dentist? When it's tooth-hurty!

I tried to be a stand-up comedian, but I only got backaches.

I spilled some yogurt on my keyboard, but now it's cultured!

Why did the queen go to the dentist? To get her crown!