What's a politician's favorite type of math? Compromise!

Why did the politician break up with his calculator? It wouldn't stop dividing the bill!

Why do politicians make terrible comedians? They always take things too seriously!

What did the politician say to the complaints department? 'I'm filing a formal objection!'

Why was the politician always confident? He had a 'campaign' that never failed!

Why did the politician bring a map to the legislation meeting? To show he was always on the right side!

What do you call a politician who's lost his voice? Silent but voted for!

What do you call a politician who's lost an election? A winner... in denial!

How does a politician sleep at night? First he lies on one side, then on the other!

Why did the politician go to the bank? To ask for a 'vote' of confidence!

What do you call a politician at a music concert? A poll rocker.

How does a politician like their eggs? Hard-boiled, just like their negotiations.

Why did the politician bring a map to Congress? To navigate the political landscape.

Why did the politician join the circus? They wanted to juggle their priorities.

What do you call a politician on a diet? A lean candidate.

Why did the politician study geometry? To learn how to shape their policy.

Why did the politician always carry a ruler? To measure up to the competition.

Why did the politician install a skylight in their office? To see more transparency.

What's a politician's favorite game? Monopoly, because they love to control everything.

How does a politician like their coffee? With a lot of filters.

Why did the politician become a chef? They wanted to serve up some legislative dishes.