Why did the politician go to the doctor? He kept passing too many bills.

Why was the politician good at baseball? He always knew how to pitch his ideas.

Why did the politician bring string to the election? To tie up loose ends.

What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F.

Why don't politicians play hide and seek? Good liars always give themselves away.

What do you get when you cross a corrupt politician and a greedy lawyer? Chelsea Clinton.

Why did the politician get glasses? To help him maintain a clearer vision for the country.

How do you get a politician to change a light bulb? Tell him it’s against the law not to.

What's a politician's favorite type of math? Election-algebra.

Why was the politician always calm? He had a lot of votes in reserve.

What do you call a politician who's careful with money? An endangered species.

Why did the politician go to the bank? To make a political statement.

What do you call a line of politicians wearing ear muffs? A tunnel of no-ears.

Why did the politician bring a ladder to the debate? To reach new lows.

I have a great joke about politics... but it doesn’t work for either side.

Why did the politician bring a ladder to the speech? He wanted to raise some issues.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.