How does a politician cool down? They pass a lot of bills.

What do you get when you cross a politician and a cat? A lot of purr-suasion.

Why did the politician bring a ladder to the election? He wanted to climb up in the polls.

What do you call a group of politicians at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.

Why did the politician break up with the calendar? He couldn't commit to any dates.

Why did the politician bring a ladder to the election? To raise the polls!

How does a politician sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

Why don't politicians ever play hide and seek? They always change their position when it's time to take responsibility.

Did you hear about the politician who was so good at spinning the truth? They could give a top a run for its money!

Why did the politician bring a ladder to the election? They heard it was a 'climb' to the top!

A politician is like a banana peel, both are empty inside, but serve their purpose in tripping people up.

What do politicians use to cool off? Legislation fans.

Never trust a politician with a comb-over, they can't even be honest with their hair.

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they're too busy blaming each other for the darkness.

Why did the politician bring a ladder to the election? To raise the stakes.

Did you hear about the politician who was a magician on the side? He could make promises disappear in a puff of smoke.

Why did the politician visit the bakery? To knead the dough for his next campaign.

Politicians are a lot like diapers, they should be changed frequently, and for the same reason.

Why did the politician go on a diet? To reduce his campaign overhead.

Have you heard about the new restaurant for politicians? It has a lot of red tape on the menu.

Why did the politician carry a pencil around? To draw more support.