How can you tell if a politician is well-dressed? By the size of their campaign budget.

Why did the politician go to therapy? To work on their 'political' issues.

What's a politician's favorite type of shoe? Flip-flops.

What do you call a politician with half a brain? Gifted.

Why did the politician bring a pencil to the speech? In case they needed to 'erase' their mistakes.

Why did the politician take up gardening? So he could learn how to plant seeds of doubt in his opponents.

What do you call a politician who is also a magician? A master of sleight of hand gestures.

How does a politician cool off? By passing the buck.

What's a politician's favorite type of humor? Political satire.

Why did the politician go to the beach? To test the political waters.

What do you call a politician who always tells the truth? An endangered species.

Why was the politician so good at golf? He was always in the swing of politics.

Why did the politician bring a pencil to the speech? To draw out his points.

How does a politician cool down? By passing a lot of hot air.

Why did the politician break up with his calculator? It could never add up to his expectations.

What do you call a politician who's afraid of stairs? A step-fearer.

Why did the politician bring a ladder to the election? To climb to the top, of course.

What do you call a group of politicians on a sinking ship? A good start.

Why did the politician bring a spoon to the debate? To stir things up.

What's a politician's favorite type of music? Lobby-istening.

Why did the politician break up with the podium? It was always talking back.