Jokes where the speaker makes fun of themselves.
I'm so uncool, even my mom unfollowed me on social media.
I'm so accident-prone, I consider walking on flat ground extreme sports.
I'm so out of shape, my Fitbit sends me get well soon cards.
I'm so bad at baking, I once burnt water.
I tried to take a selfie and my front camera cracked.
I signed up for a marathon, but the only running I do is out of excuses.
I'm so uncoordinated, I once got lost in my own house.
I went to a party and my dance moves were the highlight... of what not to do.
My plants are all fake because I can't even keep a cactus alive.
I went to a party wearing the same outfit as someone else. They looked great, I looked like their before picture.
I decided to try meditation to reduce stress. Now I'm stressed about being bad at meditating.
I thought about joining a gym, but I'm afraid my commitment issues would show.
I went to a speed dating event and the only match I got was with the bartender.
I set a new personal record for consecutive days without any human interaction.
I tried to take a selfie, but my camera said 'I'm good, thanks'.
I'm such a bad driver, my car refuses to play the radio because it doesn't want to hear me sing.
I tried to go on a diet, but my fridge laughed and said 'Nice try'.
I consider myself a connoisseur of failed DIY projects.
I attempted to whistle like a pro. It sounded more like a dying duck.
I asked my reflection for dating advice. It suggested I date someone else.
I can never seem to find matching socks. It's like they play hide and seek every morning.