What did the politician say to the scandal? Let's sweep it under the rug-iocracy.

Why are politicians always cool under pressure? They have a lot of hot air.

Why is the government like a huge bowl of oatmeal? It's lumpy and every spoonful is different.

What's a politician's favorite breakfast food? Scrambled promises.

What's a politician's favorite way to communicate? State-ments.

Why do politicians make terrible archaeologists? They're always digging up dirt.

What's a politician's favorite sport? Dodgeball, especially when avoiding questions.

What's a politician's favorite time of day? Election season.

Why did the politician go to the farmer's market? To pick constituents.

What do you call a politician who only eats cereal? A flake.

Why did the politician carry a pencil to the rally? To draw support.

Why did the politician bring a mirror to the interview? To reflect on their answers.

What do you call a politician who practices yoga? A contortionist.

Why did the politician go to the therapist? To work on their 'campaign issues'.

What do you get when you cross a corrupt politician with a lawyer? Nothing, there are some things even lawyers won't do.

Why did the politician go to the baseball game? To practice 'pitching' their ideas.

How does a politician cool down? By setting up a 'fan base'.

Why did the politician go to the nutritionist? To learn how to 'spin' their diet.

What do you call a politician who loves to garden? A 'grassroots' advocate.

Why did the politician bring a thesaurus to the speech? To sound 'prime ministerial'.

Why don't politicians make good comedians? Their jokes are all 'cabinet material'.