I always feel like my cat is silently judging me whenever I dance around the house. But then again, she's a cat, so who cares what she thinks?

Why do people use the phrase 'knock on wood' for good luck? I tried it once, and all I got was a splinter in my hand.

I always end up picking the shopping cart with the wonky wheel. I guess it's the universe's way of ensuring I get my daily arm workout at the store.

Do you ever accidentally like a post while stalking someone on social media and then have to frantically unlike it before they notice? Me neither.

I must be part squirrel because I always hoard snacks in random places around the house. Just in case of a snacking emergency, of course.

Do you ever walk into a room and forget why you went in there? My brain must be playing hide and seek with my memory.

I like to think of my laundry pile as a room decoration. It adds a nice touch of 'lived-in' to the space.

I always try to impress people by using big words, but I usually just end up mispronouncing them. It's the thought that counts, right?

I always find it ironic how people say 'I slept like a baby' when babies are known for waking up every few hours crying.

I don't understand why we have a 'snooze' button on our alarm clocks. It's basically like saying 'I don't want to wake up now, but I will in 9 minutes'.

It's funny how we always know which remote control goes to which device, even when they all look exactly the same.

Do you ever feel like a human GPS, providing directions to lost tourists in the grocery store aisle?

Isn't it funny how we always seem to find the perfect song on the radio...right as we pull into the driveway?

Why is it that we trust a machine to wash our clothes, but still feel the need to double-check the settings every time?

Do you ever look at your bank account after a weekend of spending and just think 'well, this is why I can't have nice things'?

I wonder why we say 'heads up' when we actually mean 'look out'?

Isn't it funny how we always seem to find things in the last place we look? Of course it's the last place, why would we keep looking after we found it?

People who say 'I'll be there in 5 minutes' are the same people who say 'just one more episode.'

Do you ever look at your alarm clock and think 'How is it already tomorrow?'

I'm convinced that the clothes in my closet shrink a little bit every week.

Do you ever reach for your phone to check the time and end up spending an hour on it instead?