What do you call a bear with no teeth? A bear that has adapted to a soft food diet.

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? The wind patterns are not conducive for their flight path.

How does a barber cut the moon's hair? With space scissors.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? A confused snowman.

What did one hat say to the other hat? I'm a hat, I have no ability to talk.

Why did the tomato turn red? Due to its genetic predisposition to ripen.

What do you call a belt made out of watches? A stylish timepiece accessory.

How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped his tea, just like everyone else.

Why did the chicken sit on the egg? To warm it up.

What did one wall say to the other wall? I'm a big supporter of yours.

Why was the math book thrilled? Because it aced the test.

How does a penguin build its house? Slowly and methodically, just like any other bird.

What do you call a fake noodle? A counterfeit pasta.

How do you organize a space party? You plan it well in advance.

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake? 'It's not my fault.'

Why did the tomato get scolded? It ketchup on the counter.

I asked the boss if I could leave work early, and he told me to take a nap under my desk.

I told my computer I needed a break, so it started doing yoga.

I told my computer I had a virus. It replied, 'Have you tried exercising and eating healthy?'

I used to be a shoe salesman, but I couldn't fit it into my schedule.

I told my computer I had a virus. It replied, 'Have you tried turning it off and on again?'