Why did the zombie break up with his girlfriend? She wasn't his type.

What do you call a zombie who cooks stir fry? Dead man wok-ing.

Why did the zombie join the band? He had a killer voice.

How do zombies like their coffee? De-cay-dent.

Why did the vampire subscribe to the newspaper? For the daily blood-curdling headlines.

Why was the vampire always calm? He always kept his cool.

Why did the vampire open a blood bank? For direct deposits.

Why don't vampires play baseball? They don't like crosses.

What do you call a vampire that's no good in bed? A vampire slayer.

Why did the werewolf break up with his girlfriend? She didn't like his hairy situation.

Why did the werewolf join the soccer team? He heard they needed a good striker.

What do you call a werewolf chef? A were-wolf.

Why was the werewolf always invited to parties? He was a howling good time.

Why did the zombie cross the road? To get to the body shop.

Why did the coffin break up with the dresser? It just couldn't handle the drawer-ma.

Why did the vampire become a teacher? He had a real bite for education.

Why did the scarecrow go to therapy? He had straw-ssion issues.

Why did the witch join the choir? She heard they were a real coven of singers.

Why did the ghost become an Uber driver? He loved to give people a real scare.

Why did the zombie become a gardener? He had a real knack for planting things.

Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had nobody to bone with.