Why does 'I’ll just check my phone for a minute' always turn into an hour scrolling through social media?

Getting comfortable in bed before remembering you forgot to turn off the lights feels like a personal attack on productivity.

Why do we have a 'To Do' list if we never actually get to do it all in one day?

Have you noticed that we always run into someone we know when we look the least presentable?

It’s funny how we quickly switch from speaking normally to baby talk when we see a cute animal.

Why is it that the one time we oversleep is when we have the most important event of the year?

I noticed that people who walk really fast in the grocery store always end up waiting the longest at the checkout line.

Have you ever noticed how gym memberships skyrocket in January and then the parking lot is empty by February? It’s like a New Year's resolution disappearing act.

Why do we always find the best parking spots on days we don’t need them?

People who say 'I’ll be ready in 5 minutes' must have a different understanding of time than the rest of us.

I never understand why my phone battery lasts longer when I’m bored compared to when I actually need it.

Have you ever noticed that the person who is driving slower than you is an idiot, but the person driving faster than you is a maniac?

I love how people announce they're going to the gym on social media as if it cancels out the fact that they just ate a whole pizza.

I noticed that the person who invented the snooze button must have had a teenager at home.

I realized that the only time people enjoy standing in a long line is when they're waiting to buy concert tickets for their favorite band.

Why do we always open the fridge multiple times hoping to find something new inside even though we just checked it minutes ago?

I always find it amusing how people talk to their pets as if they understand every word. I tried that with my goldfish once, but it just swam away unimpressed.

Do you ever notice that the best parking spots are always taken by cars that clearly don't need them, like a Ferrari in the handicap spot?

Do you ever notice how the slowest person in the checkout line always has the most items?

I don't understand why people say 'I slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours crying.

Why do we always look at our phone when it vibrates, as if the vibration will somehow give us the answer to who's calling?