I never understood why people say 'heads up' when they throw something at you. If anything, I'd prefer it aimed at my head down.

I find it amusing how people will willingly stand in a long line for hours to get into a club, but complain if they have to wait more than 5 minutes for their coffee.

Why is it that when someone tells you they slept like a baby, it's always meant to be a good thing? Have they forgotten how often babies wake up crying?

It's interesting how people will take a perfectly good avocado and turn it into guacamole. I guess it's the culinary equivalent of getting a makeover.

I've noticed that people who claim to be 'dog people' often have really messy cars. Maybe they should start saying they're 'cleaning up after my dog' people.

I always find it funny how we trust a tiny strip of plastic to keep our snacks fresh for weeks, but can't trust it to keep our passwords secure.

I love how we have a designated day to celebrate love, but then complain about the pressure to find the perfect gift at the last minute.

Why is it that we find it so difficult to walk past a mirror without stopping to check ourselves out, even if we're running late?

Isn't it funny how we spend so much time looking for our missing phone, only to realize it's been in our hand the whole time?

Do you ever notice how we always try to avoid making eye contact with strangers on public transportation, but end up accidentally staring at each other uncomfortably?

Do you ever notice how people in horror movies never seem to have heard of the concept of running away from danger? It's like they're allergic to common sense!

Why is it that we find ourselves mindlessly scrolling through our phones when we're supposed to be working, as if our boss won't notice our lack of productivity?

Have you ever realized how our pets seem to have a sixth sense for when we're about to take them to the vet? It's like they can smell the betrayal in the air!

I don't understand why there are express checkout lanes at the grocery store when no one ever seems to know how to use them quickly.

Why do we always open the fridge and stare into it for minutes on end, expecting new food to magically appear?

Isn't it funny how we immediately mistrust a selfie stick in someone's hand, as if they are suddenly a threat to society?

Why is it that the most important email always ends up in the spam folder, while the junk mail manages to sneak into our inbox?

Have you ever noticed how the one functioning pen in the office seems to be the most sought after, as if it holds some sort of power?

Why do we feel the need to rearrange the dishwasher after someone else has loaded it, even though it makes no difference in the end?

Do you ever find yourself rearranging the pillows on the couch, only to realize they look exactly the same as before?

Why do we always assume a piece of furniture is made for sitting when it's also the perfect height for leaning on awkwardly?