Why do we use 'old news' as an insult when news is supposed to be current?

Why do we have 'drive-thru' ATMs when we have to stop the car to use them?

Isn't it strange how we have 'stand-up' comedians even though they sit down most of the time?

Why do we call it 'jumbo shrimp' when those two words contradict each other?

Have you ever noticed how we say 'time flies' when it actually seems to drag on sometimes?

Isn't it funny how we all agree on a 'universal' remote control, but can never figure out how to use someone else's?

Why do we have 'fast food' lanes at the drive-thru when we end up waiting forever?

It's interesting how we have 'hot water heaters' when the water is already hot.

Why do we have 'fun runs' when running isn't exactly everyone's idea of fun?

Have you ever thought about how we say 'good night' to someone who is going to sleep?

Why do we have 'balding' men when it's pretty clear that they are losing hair?

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to hit 'snooze' on your alarm multiple times but impossible to hit 'stop' the first time?

I find it funny how we trust a piece of plastic with our entire life savings at an ATM.

Why do we say something is 'new and improved' when if it's new, what was it improving on?

Why do we assume people in movies are actually talking on the phone when the screen is clearly on the home screen?

I always feel like a magician when I successfully fit all the groceries in one trip from the car to the house.

Why do we have to buy a new charger every few months even though we never remember breaking or losing the old one?

I find it hilarious how we trust our phones with all our personal information even though we can barely remember our own phone number.

I always feel like a scientist when I try to figure out which side of the blanket is the longer one.

Why is it that we never seem to have any clean spoons when we need one but an abundance of dirty ones in the sink?

I always feel like a professional athlete when I successfully catch something someone throws at me unexpectedly.