What did the grape say to the lemon? Stop being so sour!

What did the lamp say to its partner? You light up my life.

Why did the man break up with his dentist girlfriend? She was always giving him the cold shoulder.

Why did the computer ask out the printer? He heard she had a lot of paper.

What did the beach say to the wave? Long time no sea.

Why did the bee break up with the flower? He heard she was cheating with other bees.

What did the painter say to the canvas? I love you a brushstroke at a time.

What did the broccoli say to the carrot? You're a-peeling.

Why did the pepper break up with the salt? Things were getting a little too spicy.

Why did the man propose to his alarm clock? He couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life hitting the snooze button.

Why did the bird break up with the squirrel? They had different nests.

What did the flashlight say to the battery? 'I'm positive we'll never be separated.'

Why did the math teacher break up with the clock? She felt their relationship wasn't adding up.

What did the steak say to the chef? 'You're grilling me.'

Why did the scarecrow break up with the farmer? He was tired of being used.

What did the clock do when it fell in love? It went 'tick-tock' every time it saw its crush.

Why did the vegetable couple break up? They couldn't find any common roots.

What did the traffic light say to the car? 'Don't go, we have such a green connection.'

Why did the tomato turn red at the party? It saw the salad dressing.

What did the nut say to the bolt? 'You really turn me on.'

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they always find themselves in honey relationships.