What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts! Remember to tweet your love for your partner!

Why did the man sleep under his car? He wanted to wake up oily in the morning, just like he woke up next to his partner!

I asked my husband if he remembered what today was. He said, 'What's the difference, I love you every day!'

Relationships are a lot like houseplants. If you ignore them long enough, they'll probably die.

Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of committing to relationships? He had too many 'negative' experiences.

Wife: I'm leaving you. Me: Is it because I'm too obsessed with astronomy? Wife: No, it's because you make a Uranus joke every time we see each other.

I asked my girlfriend for an inspirational quote. She said, 'Just do it.' So, I broke up with her.

My husband and I are a real balancing act. He balances things on credit, and I balance them on his head.

What did the streetlight say to the traffic light? 'You're always changing.'

Why did the map break up with the compass? It just couldn't find true north.

What did the grass say to the lawn mower? 'You're cutting me off.'

Why did the mountain break up with the valley? It felt like they were falling apart.

What did the ocean say to the beach? 'Thanks for making waves with me.'

Why did the blanket break up with the pillow? It felt like they were always getting too close.

What did the teapot say to the cup? 'I love you a latte.'

Why did the door break up with the key? It felt locked out of their heart.

What did the book say to the bookmark? 'You hold a special place in my story.'

Why did the sun break up with the moon? It felt like they were always playing second fiddle.

What did the clock say to the watch? 'Hands off my time.'

Why did the fork break up with the spoon? They couldn't stir things up anymore.

What did the chair say to the table? 'I'm not sitting around waiting for you.'