I'm not just a bad driver, I turn parking into a game of bumper cars.

I'm so bad at selfies, I break the camera every time.

I'm so bad at multitasking, I once burned the food while watching a cooking show.

I'm not just clumsy, I once tripped over my own shadow's shadow.

I'm so bad at singing, my shower sings better than me.

I'm not just late to the party, I once showed up a day early.

I'm so uncool, even my mom won't follow me on social media.

I'm not just a picky eater, I once ordered plain bread at a fancy restaurant.

I'm not just a bad driver, I once got honked at in a parking lot.

I'm so uncoordinated, I once walked into a wall while texting.

I'm the type of person who can't even handle a simple task without creating a disaster.

I'm so bad at directions, I need a GPS to get out of my own driveway.

I'm so terrible at singing, I could shatter glass with my voice...and eardrums.

I'm so uncoordinated, I've been known to bump into stationary objects.

I'm the type of person who can't even make a salad without injuring themselves.

I'm not just a messy eater, I turn every meal into a food fight.

I'm so awkward in social situations, I make small talk look like a difficult science experiment.

I'm the type of person who can't even take a selfie without looking like a potato.

I'm so bad at directions, my GPS sends me hate mail.

I'm not just a bad singer, I make cats howl in protest.

I'm not just a bad dancer, I'm a hazard to myself and others.