I'm like a clown car - packed full of surprises and never quite sure where I'm headed next.

I'm like a plant without a green thumb - I can't even keep a cactus alive.

I'm so disorganized, my to-do list has a to-do list...which also has a to-do list.

I'm like a walking disaster, just waiting for the next thing to go wrong...

I'm like a professional procrastinator, always putting off today what I can do tomorrow...

I'm the type of person who tries to impress others with my cooking, but then I set off the smoke alarm.

I always joke that I'm a professional procrastinator, but I haven't gotten around to making it official.

I'm so bad at dancing, my moves are like a baby giraffe trying to walk for the first time.

I'm like a shining star - distant, unattainable, and most likely burning out.

I'm the type of person who always ends up with the wonky shopping cart that makes loud, squeaky noises.

I'm the type of person who sings in the shower and immediately regrets it when the water starts going cold.

I'm like a plant that needs constant attention to thrive, except I'm more of a cactus - low maintenance and prickly.

I'm the type of person who tries to be trendy, but always ends up looking like I'm stuck in a time warp.

I'm the type of person who always manages to choose the slowest line at the supermarket, no matter how hard I try.

I'm not a great athlete, I can barely run a mile without collapsing.

I'm not a great gardener, my plants see more of the inside of a trash can than sunlight.

I'm not a chef, my cooking skills are limited to boiling water and burning toast.

I'm not a great cook, my smoke alarm cheers me on every time I try.

I'm not a fashion icon, I'm more of a 'grab whatever is clean' kind of person.

I'm not a great singer, I sound like a dying cat trying to hit high notes.

I'm not a tech expert, I still have a VCR player and think it's cutting edge technology.