Why did the toilet paper roll uphill? To get to the top!

What do you call a bear with no teeth and no fur? A gummy bear rug!

Why did the pencil go to the bathroom? It had to draw a line!

Why did the nose never invite the mouth to parties? It always talked behind its back!

What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A king mackerel!

What do you call a nose with no body? Nobody knows!

Why did the pencil go to the doctor? It had lead poisoning!

Why did the nose think it was smarter than the brain? Because it always had a snot better idea!

What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang in there, I'll go on a head!

What did the ear say to the other ear? We're all ears, let's listen!

Why did the tissue go to the dance? It heard they were picking up the boogies!

Why did the vampire brush his teeth three times a day? To prevent bat breath!

Why did the egg break up with the skillet? It couldn't handle the heat!

Why did the germ go to school? To become a little biter!

Why did the toilet paper roll disappear? It got wiped out!

What's a vampire's least favorite fruit? A necktarine!

Why did the toilet paper bring a phone to the bathroom? For emergency calls!

Why did the toilet paper roll get so famous? It had a lot of followers!

Why did the soap jump out of the bathtub? It wanted to clean up its act!

What did the toilet seat say to the toilet? You've got a lot on your plate!

Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the toilet seat!