Why did Dracula become a vegetarian? He couldn't stomach the idea of biting into something with a heartbeat.

Why was the math teacher always happy? He knew how to make problems disappear.

Why did the vampire start a gardening business? He wanted to grow some stakes.

Why did the burglar break into the music store? He heard they had great steals.

Why did the grave digger get promoted? He was really digging his work.

Why did the math teacher break up with the calendar? He found the relationship too calculating.

Why do graveyards have fences around them? Because people are dying to get in.

Why did the ghost fail math class? Because he couldn't carry the one.

Why did the scarecrow win an award for being the best doctor? Because he was outstanding in his field of medicine.

Why did the gardener bring a ladder to work? To climb the corporate ladder.

Why did the clock go to therapy? It had too many ticks.

Why do skeletons never go trick or treating? Because they have no-body to go with.

Why did the clown break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't juggle their relationship.

Why did the tomato turn purple? It was trying to ketchup.

Why did the skeleton stay at the barbecue? He couldn't stomach it.

Why did the witch go to school? To improve her spelling.

Why did the vampire open a blood bank? Because he always wanted to make a withdrawal.

Why did the banana go to the doctor? It was peeling yellow.

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his scare.

Why did the farmer start using a ladder? He heard the prices were going up.

Why did the tree go to the therapist? It had deep roots.