Jokes about morbid or controversial topics; not for everyone.
Why did the tomato turn green? It was green with envy.
Why did the scarecrow get a job in construction? He was outstanding at building rapport.
Why did the ghost become a therapist? It had a lot of experience with haunting issues.
Why did the burglar take a bath before robbing a house? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
What's the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find home.
Why did the gardener get arrested? He was caught planting evidence.
Why shouldn't you play hide and seek with mountains? They always peak.
Why do cemeteries have gates? Because people are dying to get in.
Why did the vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal? He heard it had great circulation.
Why do skeletons hate parties? They have no body to dance with.
What do you call a pile of cats? A 'meowtain', a mountain of cats.
How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.
Why did the drummer lock himself out of his house? He forgot the key changes.
Why did the zombie go to the party alone? He couldn't find a grave date.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired, just like all of us.
Why was the witch a terrible baker? She kept using eye of newt instead of flour.
Why did the math book look so sad? It had a lot of problems, and it just couldn't solve them all.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb.