Why is it that the moment you finally sit down to relax, someone calls you and ruins the peace and quiet?

Why is it that we always end up buying more groceries than we can carry on the walk back to our car? It's like our eyes are bigger than our arms.

Do you ever notice how the volume on the TV mysteriously goes up when commercials come on? It's like they're programmed to be extra loud.

Why is it that the one time you try to be sneaky and check your phone during a meeting, it decides to make the loudest notification sound ever?

I wonder if laughter is contagious because it's funny or because humans are socially awkward and don't know when to stop laughing.

I've never heard anyone say 'I feel like eating a kale salad' during a hangover. It's always 'Where's the nearest burger joint?'

Why is it that the harder you try to open a bag of chips quietly, the louder the bag seems to be?

Do you ever notice how people only start coughing when it's dead quiet in a room? It's like they have a sixth sense for ruining peaceful moments.

I always feel guilty when I throw away a pen that still has some ink left. It's like I'm sending it to pen heaven prematurely.

You know you're getting old when you get more excited about buying a vacuum cleaner than a new video game.

Isn't it funny how people will gladly pay $5 for a cup of coffee, but cringe at the thought of spending $1 on an app?

Why is it that the 'close door' button on elevators never seems to actually work when you're in a rush?

Have you ever noticed how the most interesting conversations seem to happen in the kitchen at parties? Maybe it's the alcohol or the shared love of snacks.

Why is it that we always trust restaurant reviews written by strangers on the internet more than our own friends' recommendations?

I love how we always try to sneakily smell our armpits after someone else does just to make sure we don't stink too.

Isn't it funny how we become experts in pretending to text when we're actually lost or waiting for someone?

It's amusing how we can spend hours binge-watching a TV show, but struggle to find the motivation to exercise for even 30 minutes.

Why is it that we can never find a pen when we need one, but somehow end up with a dozen scattered around the house?

Have you ever noticed how we use our phones to check the time, but end up getting distracted by notifications and forget to look at the clock?

Isn't it funny how we always stub our toe on the same piece of furniture, even though we know it's there?

I always find it amusing how people at the gym pretend they're not checking themselves out in the mirror.