I have a love-hate relationship with my alarm clock. I love it when it wakes me up, but I hate it when it goes off.

I don't understand why people say 'less is more.' Have they tried shopping at Costco?

I find it funny how I can never remember where I parked, but I can sing along to every song on the radio.

I noticed that the only time I have a clean car is right after it rains.

I find it amusing how people say 'It's a small world' when they run into someone they know in a completely different country.

Isn't it funny how we always seem to have the best dance moves when we're alone in front of the mirror?

It's interesting how we can remember every lyric to a song from our childhood, but can't remember why we walked into a room.

I will never understand why socks have a favorite shoe to disappear in.

I'm convinced that the 'snooze' button was invented by a person who just wanted to ruin productivity.

Why is it that we always find the lost items in the last place we look? Because, of course, why would we keep looking after we found it!

Why do we feel the need to say 'it's cold' every time we walk into a cold room? Do we think nobody noticed?

Isn't it ironic how we wait all year for summer and then complain about how hot it is?

Isn't it strange that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like 'I don't know how to hold a pencil'?

I always feel like a kid again when I have to hold a flashlight.

I wish I was as good at anything as I am at accidentally pressing the wrong button on the microwave.

Isn't it weird how we have to 'fall asleep' before we actually 'fall asleep'?

The awkward moment when you're wearing Nikes and you can't do it.

Why do we say 'bless you' when someone sneezes but not when they cough?

It's funny how 'nothing' can be both the best and worst thing to do.

I'm starting to think that the dishwasher just makes more dishes.

I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry basket.