What do you call a politician in a hurry? A fast-tracked candidate.

Why did the politician start a band? To drum up support for their policies.

How do politicians choose their outfits? They poll their wardrobe advisors.

What do you call a politician at a spa? A candidate for relaxation.

How do politicians deal with rejection? They vote themselves back in.

Why did the politician bring a notepad to the rally? To jot down populist slogans.

Why did the politician bring a map to the campaign? So they could stay on the right path.

What do you call a politician who travels the world? A global agenda setter.

Why did the politician bring a telescope to the speech? To see their approval ratings from afar.

Why did the politician become a magician? To make public funds disappear.

How do politicians take their coffee? With a spoonful of sugar-coating.

Why did the politician go to the doctor? To get a dose of reality check.

What do you call a politician who breaks the law? A lawmaker breaker.

What do you get when you cross a politician with a clown? A joker in the government.

Why did the politician bring a map to the meeting? So they wouldn't get lost in their own arguments.

Why did the politician start a band? To spin some new tunes for their campaign.

Why did the politician join a book club? To learn how to properly cover up their tracks.

Why did the politician bring a basketball to the debate? To practice their hoops.

Why did the politician learn to juggle? To keep all their promises up in the air.

Did you hear about the politician who fell into the ocean? He was waving, not drowning – just trying to get votes.

Why did the politician cross the road? To promise change on the other side.