How does a politician say hello? They shake your hand, smile, and look for the nearest camera.

Why did the politician wear sunglasses to the debate? To hide their shady intentions.

What do you call a group of politicians on a boat? A sinking feeling.

Why did the politician switch careers to become a chef? So they could continue stirring the pot.

Why did the politician hire an actor to attend rallies? To boost their crowd numbers.

Why did the politician go to therapy? To work on their issues with commitment.

Why did the politician go to therapy? To work on their lying issues.

Why did the politician carry a map? In case they needed to backtrack on their promises.

What do you get when you cross a politician with a snake? A slippery character.

Why did the politician go to the comedy club? To learn some new ways to spin jokes into policies.

Why do politicians make terrible doctors? They're too good at giving people the runaround.

Why was the politician always out of breath? They were constantly backpedaling on their promises.

Did you hear about the politician who was so good at selling ice to Eskimos? He's now the Minister of Foreign Affairs.

Why did the politician go to the doctor? He had a chronic inability to pass bills.

What do you call a financial planner who is also a politician? A con-artist.

Have you heard about the new restaurant called Government? They have great food, but everyone gets taxed 30%.

What do you call a group of politicians sleeping? A slumber party caucus.

How do politicians stay cool? They have a lot of fans blowing them from all directions.

What's the best way to manipulate a politician? Use the control Z on your keyboard, it's the undo button.

Why was the politician always calm during speeches? He practiced meditating on his high horse.

Why did the politician bring a ladder to Congress? To reach new heights of corruption.