Why did the politician bring a mirror to the election? To reflect on his policies.

Why did the politician go to therapy? He had commitment issues to the truth.

Why did the politician go to the dentist? To get a red, white, and blue root canal.

If politicians were airlines, they’d always be delayed because of too much baggage.

How does a politician cool down? By lowering the taxes.

Why was the politician a good gardener? He knew how to plant rumors.

What do you call a politician who is in denial? The incumbent.

Why do politicians make terrible comedians? They always try to filibuster the punchline.

How does a politician say hello? He extends his hand for a shake and his other hand for a donation.

Did you hear about the politician who joined a band? He was great at playing the sax and lies.

What do you call a dinosaur politician? A dino-sore.

Why did the politician break up with his calculator? It just couldn't divide fairly.

Why did the politician get into a fight with the bakery? They couldn't agree on the pie chart.

What do you call it when a politician takes a day off? A political holiday.

Why was the politician always calm during the election? He had a good polling demeanor.

Why did the politician carry a pencil and eraser? To rewrite history.

How do politicians stay cool during a heatwave? They go to the Senate where there's lots of fans.

What do you call a politician who's a big fan of puzzles? A piece of the problem.

Why did the politician go to the hardware store? To learn how to hammer out agreements.

How does a politician give a thumbs up? By quickly assessing the polling data.

What's a politician's favorite outdoor activity? Walking a tightrope between promises and reality.