Why did the politician bring a ladder to the debate? To 'raise' their arguments!

What do politicians use to communicate? A campaign phone!

How do politicians like their coffee? With plenty of lobbyist cream!

Why did the politician become a doctor? To perform political surgery!

How do politicians handle rejection? They just veto it!

Why did the politician become a photographer? To capture the perfect political moment!

How do politicians send letters? They seal them with their approval!

Why did the politician go to the fortune teller? To see what the polls predict!

Why did the politician become a mechanic? To fix the broken system!

Why did the politician become a pilot? To stay above the political fray!

How do politicians like their eggs? Scrambled with a side of pork barrel!

What's a politician's favorite type of bread? White collar!

Why did the politician join a band? To appeal to the swing voters!

What's a politician's favorite TV show? House of Cards!

Why did the politician go to the farmer's market? To harvest some votes!

How do politicians stay warm in the winter? By burning bridges!

Why did the politician become a DJ? To spin the political discourse!

What's a politician's favorite vacation spot? Capital Hill!

Why did the politician become a carpenter? To build bipartisan relationships!

What's a politician's favorite car? A campaign bus!

What do you call a politician who can juggle? A master of political spin!