Why was the politician always so good at math? He knew how to manipulate numbers!

How do politicians avoid being late? They always have a 'political agenda' to follow!

Why was the politician's resume so impressive? Because it was full of experience 'fudging the numbers'!

Why did the politician go to therapy? To work on his 'campaign promises' issues!

How do politicians keep cool during debates? They have a 'debate cooling' system.

Why did the politician carry around a GPS during the campaign? He needed help navigating 'policy circles'.

Did you hear about the politician who accidentally went to the wrong rally? He was giving a speech on 'tax cuts' at a 'tree hugger' event.

Why did the politician bring a mirror to the debate? He wanted to practice his 'political reflection'.

Did you hear about the politician who lost the election? He's now campaigning for the 'Popular Vote' award.

Why did the President sit on the clock during the press conference? He wanted to be on 'face time'.

I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets. It was the first time I've seen a government official take responsibility.

Why did the politician go to the doctor? He had a political virus - he was feeling 'e-campaign sick'.

What do you call a group of politicians in a room full of smoke? A 'smoke screen' cabinet meeting.

Why did the politician break up with his calculator? It didn't help him with 'poll' numbers.

What do you call a politician who loses an election? A 'ballot loser'.

Why did the politician become an architect? He wanted to build bridges...to nowhere.

What do you get when you cross a politician and a circus clown? A 'politician in clown car' act.

Why did the politician bring a pencil to the debate? He wanted to 'erase' his opponent's arguments.

What's a politician's favorite kind of math? Politricks!

Why did the politician go to therapy? He was having 'election anxiety'.

Why did the politician go to the store? To buy more spin.