What do you get when you cross a politician with a lawyer? A spin doctor.

How do politicians deal with a tough crowd? They filibust a joke.

What did one politician say to the other at the party? 'Let's avoid any political debates, we're here to have fun.'

Why did the politician go to the doctor? They needed a dose of reality.

What do you call a politician who's good at playing guitar? A rock star legislator.

Why did the politician bring a map to the rally? They wanted to find their way back to the middle ground.

What do you call a politician who doesn't keep their word? A campaigner of broken promises.

Why did the politician go to the bakery? To get a slice of the electoral pie.

Why did the politician go to the doctor? They had a bad case of congress.

What do you call a politician who's lost an election? A ballot loser.

What did the politician say to the birthday cake? I want a piece of the party platform.

Why did the politician go to the baseball game? They wanted to see a grand slam instead of a filibuster.

What's a politician's favorite type of shoes? Flip-flops.

Why was the politician afraid of stairs? Because they heard it was a step in the wrong direction.

Why did the politician go to the dentist? To improve their cabinet reshuffle.

How does a politician cool down? They sit in front of the fan and filibust a breeze.

Why do politicians make terrible comedians? They always campaign for laughs.

What do you call a politician who's lost an election? A poll loser.

Why was the math book upset at the politician? They couldn't solve for x in their promises.

Why did the politician go to the sports game? They heard it was a great way to score political points.

How do politicians handle stress? They budget their time wisely.