Why do politicians make terrible comedians? Because they always punch down instead of up!

What do you call a group of politicians in a hot tub? A whirpool of corruption!

Why did the politician sit on the clock during a debate? They wanted to be on top of the politics!

What did one politician say to the other at the buffet? Let's make a deal, you can have the main course if I can have the dessert!

Why don't politicians trust stairs? Because they're always afraid of a political fall!

How do politicians stay cool during the summer? They stand in the shade of their campaign promises!

What's a politician's favorite type of weather? Polling weather, to see which way the wind blows!

What do you call a politician who is also a musician? A spin doctor!

Why did the politician bring a pencil to the debate? In case they needed to erase their promises!

How do politicians communicate in secret? Through a filibuster phone!

What did the politician say to the duck? Quack deals are my specialty!

Why was the politician always calm in chaos? They're used to managing a political circus!

How does a politician fish? By casting their net of promises and hoping for a big catch!

Why did the politician bring a map to the rally? They wanted to know which way the wind of public opinion was blowing!

Why did the politician break up with their calculator? It kept dividing their attention!

What do you call a politician who's been caught lying? A fib-eral!

Why did the politician bring a map to the election? They wanted to find their way to the polls!

Why did the politician bring a pencil to the debate? They heard it had a good point!

What do you call a politician who's good at baseball? A pitch perfect candidate!

Why did the politician go to the doctor? To get their spin checked out!

What do you get when you cross a politician with a snake? A slippery slope!