What do politicians use to keep in touch with voters? Electri-citizens!

What's a politician's favorite type of seafood? Shrimp – because they love shell games!

How do politicians greet each other on Halloween? Trick or treaty!

Why did the politician go to the library? To check out new ways to spin the narrative.

What do you call a politician who loves to exercise? A gym-nastic leader.

Why did the politician become a pilot? To have more airtime for speeches.

Why did the politician start a podcast? To filibust a new audience.

How do politicians deal with stress? They vote on it.

What do you call a politician at the doctor's office? A sick candidate.

Why did the politician take up knitting? To weave their way through tough debates.

Why do politicians make great salespeople? Because they're experts at selling promises.

What do you call a politician who loves fishing? A reel leader.

Why did the politician start a blog? To post their thoughts and regulations online.

What do politicians use to communicate with each other? Con-gress signals.

What do you call a politician with a sense of humor? A rare find.

Why did the politician become a chef? To cook the books without anyone suspecting.

What do you call a politician who loves math? An integer-ested party member.

Why did the politician bring a parachute to the speech? In case their approval ratings started to plummet.

How does a politician listen to music at home? They just turn on the lobbyistening device.

What did the politician say to the time traveler? 'Can you take me back to before the scandal broke?'

Why did the politician go to the pet store? To pick up a snake for their next political move.