What did one politician say to the other at the summit? 'Let's table this discussion and circle back!'

What do you get when you cross a politician with a computer? A 'byte-sized' policy maker!

How does a politician stay organized? They use a filing cabinet to keep track of all their scandals!

Why was the politician always so calm? He had a 'bill' of inner peace!

What do you call a group of politicians running a marathon? The running mate squad!

Why did the politician become a comedian? He heard they had a lot of 'political capital'!

How do politicians navigate through tough times? They use a compass made out of polling data!

What's a politician's favorite type of food? Spinach dip, because they love to 'spin' things!

Why did the politician visit the fire station? He heard they were experts in putting out political 'fires'!

How do politicians communicate underwater? They use lobbi-talking!

Why was the politician never cold? He was always wrapped in a blanket of bureaucracy!

What do you call a politician on a deserted island? Stranded in bureaucracy!

Why did the politician bring a dictionary to the meeting? They wanted to redefine the issues!

What do you call a politician who's good at math? Creative accounting!

Why did the politician sit in the corner during meetings? They were practicing their filibuster!

Why did the politician wear sunglasses? They couldn't handle the shady deals!

Why did the politician visit the bakery? To see how the election cookies were crumbling!

What do you call a politician who is also a math whiz? A government calculator!

What's a politician's favorite dessert? Spinach pie, because they love to sugarcoat everything!

What do you call a politician sleeping on the job? A member of Congress!

Why did the politician go to the therapist? They needed help getting their story straight!