What do you call a politician who's always late? Behind in the polls.

Why did the politician bring a magnifying glass to the debate? To enlarge his vision for the country.

What do you call a politician who's good at bowling? A strike for the people.

What do you call a politician who gets lost in the forest? A filibuster.

Why did the politician go to the therapist? To discuss his issues with approval ratings.

Why did the politician get into comedy? He wanted to distract from his policies.

Why did the politician bring a calculator to the negotiation? To divide and conquer.

Why did the politician go to the grocery store? To stock up on votes.

What do you call a politician who plays guitar? A rock-the-voter.

Why did the politician become a chef? He was good at stirring the pot.

What's a politician's favorite dessert? Jello-shuns.

What do you call a politician who designs clothes? A fashionista-polician.

What's a politician's favorite board game? Monopoll-ey.

Why did the politician bring a deck of cards to the campaign? To play the political hand he was dealt.

What do you call a politician who practices yoga? The bendy-diplomat.

Why did the politician go to the doctor? He had a severe case of inflation.

Why did the politician break up with his calculator? He couldn't handle its divisive methods.

How does a politician cool down after a long day? He takes a bipartisan bath.

What's a politician's favorite type of exercise? Running for office.

Why did the politician open a bakery? He wanted to make some dough on the side.

What do you get when you cross a politician with a rock climber? A lot of ups and downs.