How do politicians stay on top of current events? They ride the news cycle!

Why did the politician bring a map to the election? To try and find their way to the truth!

Why did the politician cross the road? To avoid answering more questions!

Why did the politician take up gardening? To plant seeds of deception!

What's a politician's favorite store? The spin cycle laundromat!

How do politicians like their coffee? They prefer it with a little backroom flavor!

Why did the politician wear sunglasses? To shade himself from the shady deals!

What do you get when you cross a politician and a snake? A deceitful serpent!

What do you call a politician who's not corrupt? An April Fool's joke!

How do politicians communicate in secret? They use sub-polliticians!

What do you call a group of politicians floating in the ocean? A buoy-to-cracy!

Why did the politician get a sunburn? Because he couldn't pass a bill for sunscreen!

Why did the politician carry a map? In case he needed to redraw the district lines!

What do you call a politician who wins a boxing match? A knock-out candidate!

Why was the politician always calm? Because he had mastered the art of political zen!

Why did the politician bring a shovel to parliament? To dig himself out of tough questions!

What do you call a politician with no sense of humor? A cabinet member!

Why did the politician bring a plant to the debate? To show he was rooted in his beliefs!

What do you call a group of politicians stuck in a car? A car-pol!

What's a politician's favorite flavor of ice cream? Rocky road, because politics can get bumpy!

How do politicians stay focused? They keep their eyes on the polls!