I used to be a printer, but I couldn't make ends print.

I tried to become a comedian, but I couldn't stand-up to the competition.

I'm friends with a clock. We have a ticking time relationship.

I tried to become a fisherman, but I floundered.

I told a joke about fishing, but it didn't reel in the laughs.

I'm friends with a ladder. We always step up for each other.

I tried to become a gardener, but I couldn't find my bloom.

I told a joke about cars, but it stalled.

I used to be a piano tuner, but I couldn't handle the pressure.

I'm reading a book on comedy. It's a real page-turner.

I told a joke about Shakespeare, but it was much ado about nothing.

I'm friends with a watch. We always have a good time.

I'm reading a book on dinosaurs. It's dino-mite.

I'm friends with a magnet. We're very attractive.

I told a joke about fences, but it didn't have a good gate.

I'm friends with a broom. We always sweep things under the rug.

I'm friends with a lock. We have a strong bond.

I used to be a fisherman, but I lost my reel job.

I'm friends with a belt. We always stay buckle up.

I'm reading a book on optical illusions. It's hard to put down.

I used to be a musician, but I lost my tempo.