I'm friends with a mathematician. He's very acute guy.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

I'm reading a book on the history of the calendar. It's a dated read.

I'm reading a book about diving deep into the ocean. It's a deep read.

I'm trying to write a joke about construction, but I just don't have the foundation.

Why did the math book look upset? It was full of problems.

I'm writing a book about haystacks. It's a real page-turner.

I'm friends with a musician who always takes things too far. He's just a little flat.

I'm friends with a vampire who loves to gamble. He always takes a bite out of the deck.

I used to be a banker, but I lost interest. Now I just lend a hand.

I'm friends with a tree who's always branching out.

I'm friends with a detective who always follows his gut instincts. He has a gut feeling about everything.

I'm friends with a clock who always gets wound up about something.

I used to be a baker, but then I kneaded a change in my life.

I told a chemist a joke about sodium. He didn't get a reaction.

I used to be a baker, but then I realized I didn't knead the dough.

I'm reading a book on gravity - I just can't seem to put it down.

I told a baker a joke about flour. He couldn't rise to the occasion.

I'm writing a book about how to shut doors - it's a real page-turner.

I told my boss a joke about construction. It built some laughter.

Stolen from a carpenter: 'I'm feeling board.'