I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of energy.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't find my recipe for success.

I asked the clock if it wanted to go back in time, but it said, 'Second thought.'

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't keep up with the yeast of them.

I asked my computer if it wanted to go for a run, but it said, 'I'm already RAMming.'

I'm reading a book on memory loss. It's slipping my mind.

I asked the gym if they had a stairway to heaven. They said, 'Step right up.'

I told my computer I needed a break, so it gave me a coffee break.

I used to be a plumber, but I got tired of all the pipe dreams.

I used to be a banker, but I lost interest in making cents.

I'm friends with all the oceans. I sea them often.

I'm friends with some forests, they really wood do anything for me.

I'm trying to write a book about tropical fruit, I'm going bananas.

I used to be a baseball player, but I couldn't catch on.

I'm reading a book on shoes, but it's becoming a real heel to get through.

Why did the scarecrow become a farmer? Because he was outstanding in growing his new career.

I used to be a fitness trainer, but I couldn't exercise my way to happiness.

I'm thinking of writing a book on clouds, but the ideas keep floating away.

Why did the math book look angry? It couldn't subtract its frustration.

I used to be a carpenter, but I couldn't nail down my true passion.

I'm reading a book on pillows, but the plot seems a bit soft.