Why did the shoe break up with the sock? It felt smothered in the relationship!

Why did the mirror break up with the reflection? It couldn't handle seeing itself in the relationship!

Why did the cloud break up with the raindrop? It felt like the relationship was always raining on its parade!

Why did the book break up with the bookmark? It felt like it was always being left behind!

Why did the TV break up with the remote? It couldn't handle all the channel-changing in the relationship!

Why did the grass break up with the lawn mower? It felt like it was being cut too short in the relationship!

Why do programmers prefer relationships to hookups? They like committing to things!

Why did the skeleton break up with his girlfriend? She didn't have the guts to stay with him!

Why did the banker break up with his girlfriend? She was always making deposits for granted!

Why did the romantic comedy movie go broke? It couldn't make ends meet!

Why did the couple go to therapy in the park? They heard it was a great place to mend relationships!

What did the grape do when his partner stepped on his toe? He let out a little wine!

I asked my girlfriend how she views our relationship. She said, 'In HD.'

Why do programmers prefer relationships online? They like to avoid the merge conflict!

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired from all the drama.

I told my husband he should listen to his wife's advice more often. He said, 'What advice?'

Why do ghosts enjoy dating vampires? They like a bit of necking!

I asked my wife if she wanted to watch a movie about constipation. She said, 'No... it sounds like a real block-buster.'

Why did the couple go to the therapist? Because their chemistry was off!

I asked my wife how many books she plans on reading this year. She said, 'Just one... and that's enough!'

Why did the man break up with the calendar? Because he felt like its days were numbered!