Why don't chefs date stand-up comedians? They can't handle the roast in the relationship.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed space in the relationship.

What do you call two birds in a relationship counseling session? Lovebirds getting some therapy.

Why did the couple break up at the beach? They couldn't handle the tide of emotions.

What did the grape say to the avocado? 'You're a guac-some partner.'

Why did the chef break up with his girlfriend? She had too much drama in the kitchen.

Why did the doctor break up with the nurse? He needed more patients in the relationship.

What do you call a relationship where two vegetarians are dating? A plant-based romance.

My girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a queen for a day. So I took away her internet and declared a national holiday.

Why do programmers make bad partners? They can't seem to commit.

I told my wife she should do cardio to stay healthy. So now she runs away every time I bring up chores.

Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fruit section? It was a mango-ificent love affair.

My husband said he wanted to travel the world with me. So I bought him a globe for his birthday.

Why did the math book date the history book? They had too many problems.

I asked my wife if she wanted to hear a joke about the gym. She said, 'No, I'm just not working out.'

What do you call a bear without a date to the dance? Un-bear-able.

My boyfriend told me he was reading a book about gravity. I couldn't put it down.

Why did the guitar break up with the drum set? They couldn't find the right beat.

My wife said she wanted to spice up our marriage. So I bought her a pepper spray.

I told my husband I wanted a new ring for our anniversary. He bought me a boxing ring.

My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me to focus on her studies. I guess it's not meant to be a chemistry relationship.