Why did the couple go to the therapist? They were stuck in a loop of arguments.

What did the calculator say to the student who got a bad grade? You can count on me to help you through it.

Why do ghosts never date each other? Because they always go out with their boo.

I told my husband I'm taking up meditation. He asked if that meant I'm breaking up with him.

How do you know when a relationship is over? When both sides are on the same page.

What did the grape do when his girlfriend said she was leaving him? He wine-d.

Have you heard about the statistician who broke up with his girlfriend? He found out she was skewing the data.

Why do programmers prefer relationships to hookups? Because they can't handle the strings attached.

Why did the man propose to the calendar? He wanted to schedule in some love.

Why did the couple go to the therapist? Their relationship was at a breaking point.

Why did the painter break up with his canvas? It just couldn't brush off the problems.

Why did the gardener break up with his lawnmower? It was cutting too close.

Why did the tree break up with the maple leaf? It was falling for someone else.

Why did the musician break up with his metronome? It was too controlling.

Why did the fish break up with the ocean? It was getting too deep.

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? It was a space-time continuum issue.

Why did the cat break up with the mouse? It was a claw-ful relationship.

I wanted to be more romantic, so I walked under the stars with my girlfriend. Then it occurred to me, stars are hot flaming balls of gas millions of miles away.

My boyfriend said he didn’t understand the importance of space in a relationship. I said, “That’s right, honey. Give me some space, lots of it!”

My boyfriend broke up with me because he said I was obsessed with The Monkees. I thought he was joking, but then I saw his face...

I asked my girlfriend to let me know if she ever lost interest in me. She wrote me a letter saying she isn’t interested.