Why did the tree break up with her partner? He was always stumped.

Why did the bee break up with his queen? She was too royal for him.

Why did the mathematician break up with his girlfriend? She always wanted a 'more acute' relationship.

Why was the student relationship always struggling? Because it was constantly being tested.

Why did the man propose with a diamond ring? He wanted to 'carbon' copy his love for her.

What's it called when two musicians start dating? A perfect harmony.

Why did the man carry a photo of his ex-girlfriend? So he could always have someone to compare his current relationship to.

Why did the man buy his girlfriend a fridge? Because he heard she was looking for something cool.

Why did the man break up with his internet girlfriend? She wasn't his type.

Why did the woman bring a map on her date? In case the relationship needed directions.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a mortgage? Eventually, the mortgage stops taking half your money.

Why did the man bring a ladder to his date? He heard she was looking for a long-term relationship.

Why did the man propose to his clock? He wanted to make the biggest hands in a relationship.

Why did the man break up with the baker? She kept loafing around.

My boyfriend accused me of being in love with pasta. I told him to spaghetti his own business.

I told my husband I wanted a surprise for my birthday. He told my best friend, 'Surprise, she wants a divorce.'

I asked my girlfriend if she would date me for a year. She said, 'We'll see.'

My girlfriend said she wanted to feel special on Valentine's Day. So I gave her a helmet and crayons.

I asked my wife for something that goes from 0 to 100 in 3 seconds. She gave me a scale.

My boyfriend said I never take him anywhere expensive. So I pushed him off a cliff.

Why did the girl break up with the calendar? She couldn't handle his dates.