My boyfriend said he wanted to go on a romantic dinner date. So I bought him a microwave dinner and dimmed the lights!

Why did the woman break up with the baker? He was always kneading space in their relationship!

Why did the man bring a tape measure to his date? He wanted to see if they were a good fit!

Why did the peanut butter break up with the jelly? It was tired of being spread too thin in the relationship!

Why did the calendar break up with the clock? It was tired of all the second guesses!

Why did the man break up with the tree? It just wasn't branching out enough in the relationship!

Why did the woman break up with the astronaut? She needed space in the relationship!

Why did the romance novel break up with the cookbook? It found the relationship too cheesy!

I asked my wife to rate our relationship out of 10. She said we're just like a Samsung, 7.5!

Why do geologists make great partners? They rock!

What did one plant say to another plant on Valentine's Day? Lettuce be together!

Why do mathematicians never break up? They use too many arguments.

Why did the archaeologist break up with the paleontologist? They couldn't find common ground.

Why did the calendar break up with the clock? There were too many dates.

Why did the tree propose to the flower? It had finally branched out.

What do you call a happy mushroom couple? Fun guys.

Why did the camera break up with the mirror? It couldn't handle the reflection.

What did the window say to the door? You always have a way out.

Why did the chef break up with the baker? Their love was half-baked.

Why did the cell phone break up with the landline? It wasn't a good connection.

Why did the scarecrow and the corn stalk break up? They were just going in different rows.