My boyfriend said he wanted space, so I locked him outside. Problem solved.

Why did the baker go on a date? He kneaded some love.

I told my wife she should do more yoga. She stretched the truth.

My girlfriend said I never take her anywhere nice. So we went to the dollar store.

I asked my husband what he loves most about me. He said my Netflix password.

Why did the comedian date the baker? He kneaded a good laugh.

My wife said I never buy her flowers. So I got her a cactus.

Why did the books break up? Their love story had too many pages.

I told my boyfriend he needs to be more spontaneous. He bought me plastic flowers.

Why did the calendar break up with the clock? It was tired of second-guessing.

My girlfriend said she wanted to go to Paris. So I took her to the Paris Hotel in Vegas.

Why did the fridge break up with the microwave? It was tired of being cold.

I asked my wife what she wants for her birthday. She said a diamond ring. So I got her a deck of cards.

My boyfriend told me I should be more positive. So I added 'Covid test' to my daily to-do list.

Why did the cell phone break up with the computer? It couldn't handle the scroll.

Why did the romance novelist never have relationship issues? She knew how to write them away in a happy ending.

Why did the relationship counselor bring a pencil to the session? To draw boundaries.

Why did the couple break up at the online dating site? They weren't a match.

My boyfriend said he needed space. So I locked him in a storage unit.

Why did the couple go to therapy in the produce section? They had too many issues to salad alone.

I asked my wife if she was having an affair with the pool boy. She said, 'The pool boy? He doesn't know how to clean a skimmer, let alone satisfy me.'