I once dated a baker, but she kept breaking my heart by loafing around.

I tried to write a love letter, but my cat walked all over it. Looks like I've got a cat scan.

I told my husband I was leaving him because of his obsession with astrology. He asked me what my sign was.

I've been married for 20 years, and I'm still in love with the same man...unfortunately, my husband found out.

I wanted to marry my English teacher, but it turned out she was already a Mrs.

My boyfriend and I enjoy having long walks together. Unfortunately, we're in a long-distance relationship.

I asked my wife for a newspaper and she told me to get with the times. So I took her phone and threw it at her.

Why did the banker break up with the accountant? They had different financial goals.

Why did the electrician break up with the plumber? They couldn't keep the sparks alive.

Why did the artist break up with the art critic? They couldn't paint a positive picture together.

Why did the musician break up with the singer? They couldn't find their harmony.

Why did the welder break up with the blacksmith? They couldn't forge a lasting bond.

Why did the geologist break up with the archaeologist? They had a rocky relationship.

Why did the construction worker break up with the architect? They couldn't build a solid foundation.

Why did the farmer break up with the rancher? They couldn't herd each other's feelings.

Why did the bartender break up with the mixologist? They couldn't blend well together.

Why did the psychic break up with the medium? They saw different futures.

Why did the athlete break up with the coach? They couldn't stay in the same lane.

Why did the scientist break up with the researcher? They couldn't conduct a successful experiment.

Why did the zoologist break up with the botanist? They couldn't plant their roots together.

Why did the nurse break up with the doctor? They needed a different kind of care.