You must be a parking ticket because you've got 'fine' written all over you.

I love it when you speak. It's like the sound of an angel being strangled.

Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

Oh, I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

If you're looking for sympathy, you can find it in the dictionary between 'shit' and 'syphilis'.

I'm not sure what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

No, please go on. I love hearing about your drama-filled life.

I don't have a bad memory, I'm just full of irrelevant information.

If I wanted to listen to an idiot, I'd talk to myself.

I'm not as think as you dumb I am.

I have the right to remain silent, but I probably won't.

Oh, you're wearing a band t-shirt? You must be a huge fan of that washing machine brand.

Wow, you're really good at talking. You should consider doing it professionally.

I love the sound you make when you shut up.

I'm not shy, I'm just examining my prey.

If I had a dollar for every smart thing you say, I'd be broke.

Sorry if I seemed interested. I'm not.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 26 siblings and they don't know either.

It's not that I don't trust you, I just don't believe anything that comes out of your mouth.

I asked my mechanic for a oil change, he told me to break it to my car gently.