I have the style sense of a mismatched sock.

I'm as smooth as sandpaper when it comes to flirting.

I have the social skills of a hermit crab at a party.

I'm so awkward, I make elevator rides uncomfortable.

I'm so uncoordinated, I can't even do the Macarena correctly.

I'm so unathletic, my Fitbit sends me motivational messages like 'Are you sure you're wearing me?'

I'm so bad at making decisions, I have a hard time choosing a profile picture.

My cooking is so terrible, even the smoke alarm cheers me on.

I'm like a ninja, except instead of being stealthy, I always trip over things.

I must be a magnet for awkward situations, they seem to always find me.

I'm so clumsy, I should come with a 'slippery when wet' sign.

I'm like a human spelling error, always messing things up.

I have a face made for radio and a voice made for silent films.

I'm like a mosquito at a nudist colony, always feeling out of place.

I could trip over a wireless connection.

I'm so bad at small talk, I end up having deep philosophical conversations about the weather.

I'm as graceful as a newborn giraffe on roller skates.

I'm as handy as a screen door on a submarine.

I'm as out of place as a fork in a world of soup.

I'm not just a mess, I'm a whole disaster area.

I'm like a human alarm clock - annoying and nobody wants to wake up to me.