I'm so awkward, I once tried to shake someone's hand and ended up poking them in the eye.

I'm so forgetful, I once took a shower with my glasses on.

I'm so bad at parking, I once tried to parallel park in a parking lot.

I'm so bad at singing, I make karaoke machines cry.

I'm so bad at flirting, I once accidentally called someone by the wrong name while trying to be charming.

I'm so clumsy, I once tripped over my own shadow.

I'm so lazy, I consider turning off the lights exercise.

I'm so forgetful, I once wore two different shoes to work.

I'm so out of shape, I get winded going up a flight of stairs.

I'm so bad at technology, I accidentally liked my ex's photo from 3 years ago.

I'm so unathletic, my Fitbit sends me condolences instead of congratulatory messages.

I'm so bad at technology, I accidentally called my own phone.

I'm so clumsy, I've bumped into a mirror and apologized to myself.

I'm so bad at telling jokes, I make anti-jokes sound entertaining.

I'm not great at math, I still count on my fingers when doing simple calculations.

I'm such a klutz, I trip over my own feet even when I'm sitting down.

I'm the type of person who always manages to trip over nothing.

I'm not lazy, I'm just horizontally motivated.

My love life is like a Sudoku puzzle, I'm just not good at it.

I'm so uncoordinated that I need a GPS to find my own two feet.

I'm not saying I'm bad at math, but I just tried to solve a Sudoku with a pen.