I'm so bad at adulting, I call my mom for help with laundry.

I'm so bad at time management, I'm perpetually late to my own life.

I'm so bad at following directions, I once got lost in my own neighborhood.

I'm so bad at waking up early, I hit the snooze button so many times that I'm late for work every day.

I'm so bad at flirting, I accidentally wink at strangers while trying to be charming.

I'm so bad at remembering names, I've been called 'Hey you!' more times than I can count.

I'm so bad at socializing, I avoid eye contact with my own reflection.

I'm so bad at adult responsibilities, I still haven't figured out how to change a tire.

I'm so bad at singing, I once cleared out a karaoke bar... unintentionally.

I'm so bad at sports, I once got winded playing chess.

I'm so awkward, I once high-fived someone who was waving to someone else.

I'm so bad at driving, I once got lost in a parking lot.

I'm so bad at budgeting, I once invested in a company that sells air.

I'm so clumsy, I break a sweat tying my shoes.

I'm so bad at sleeping, I once dreamt about being awake.

I'm so bad at relationships, my therapist sends me greeting cards.

I'm so unathletic, I once pulled a muscle while stretching.

I'm so bad with money, I once paid full price at the Dollar Store.

I'm so bad at multitasking, I struggle to walk and chew gum at the same time.

I'm so bad at cooking, my microwave yells 'abandon ship!' when I try to use it.

I'm so bad at technology, I once tried to fax an email.