I'm the type of person who trips over their own feet in flip flops.

I'm like a plant, I just wilt under pressure.

I'm so bad at singing, my shower head begs for mercy.

I'm like a human GPS - I'll lead you in the wrong direction and take twice as long to get there.

I once tried to parallel park and ended up perpendicular.

I'm so clumsy, I could trip over a wireless connection.

I'm like a plant, I need lots of water, sunlight, and attention.

I'm not saying I'm a hypochondriac, but I did just google 'can you die from a paper cut?'

I'm the type of person who can manage to get lost in their own neighborhood.

I'm the reason they put 'caution: hot' on coffee cups.

I'm like a phone battery - I can go from 100% to 0% in no time.

I'm so bad at technology, I once called IT for help with my calculator.

I'm the only person I know who can break a diet just by thinking about dessert.

I'm like a magnet for awkward situations - they just seem to find me.

I'm the type of person who always picks the slowest line at the grocery store.

I'm not saying I'm forgetful, but I once spent 20 minutes looking for my phone while talking on it.

I'm the kind of person who can trip over their own shoelaces and blame it on the shoes.

I'm such a bad driver, I use my turn signal as a suggestion rather than a commitment.

I'm not saying I'm clumsy, but I just tripped over my own shadow.

I'm such a bad singer, my showerhead started leaking when I attempted karaoke.

I'm not saying I'm unattractive, but my selfies get flagged as explicit content.