I'm the kind of person who spills drinks on themselves and blames the cup for being too full.

I'm so bad at texting, I accidentally sent 'LOL' to a friend who just told me their pet passed away.

I'm the type of person who tries to juggle and ends up with bruised egos instead of balls.

I'm like a fish out of water - out of my element and gasping for air.

I'm so bad at remembering passwords, I've locked myself out of every account I own.

I'm the kind of person who tries to do a cartwheel and ends up face-planting.

I'm so bad at singing, I make the neighbors howl for all the wrong reasons.

I'm the type of driver who forgets to turn off their blinker for miles.

I'm like a cat stuck in a tree - in over my head and waiting for someone to rescue me.

I'm so bad at telling scary stories, I end up making everyone laugh.

I'm the type of person who brings the wrong folder to important meetings.

I'm the type of person who walks into a room and forgets why.

I'm so bad at dancing, I should come with a warning label.

I'm the kind of person who always chooses the slowest line at the grocery store.

I'm like a walking fashion disaster - I make plaid and stripes look good together.

I'm so bad at technology, I still have a pager.

I'm like a human snowball - the more I roll, the bigger I get.

I'm the type of person who tells a joke and forgets the punchline.

I'm like a toe stubbing expert - I find furniture corners in the dark with ease.

I'm the reason why autocorrect exists.

I'm the kind of person who accidentally hits 'reply' instead of 'delete' on embarrassing emails.